Is Your Chimp Running the Show?

 Kyrstie Nolan, Harcourts Head of Business Operations, on Why Emotional Mastery Is Your Real Competitive Edge

I recently read The Chimp Paradox by Dr. Steve Peters—and now I can’t stop blaming a fictional monkey for half the things I say and do.

Not in an unhinged way (I promise), but in a surprisingly helpful one.

The idea behind the book is simple, but brilliant: inside your brain live three key players—the Chimp, the Human, and the Computer. Not literally, of course—but metaphorically.

The Chimp is emotional, impulsive, and reactive.

The Human is rational, calm, and values-driven—the version of you that makes great decisions when you’ve had a coffee and a minute to think.

The Computer holds your habits, routines, beliefs, and learned responses. It’s efficient, fast, and neutral—but only as useful as what you've programmed into it.

It’s an elegant model that made a whole lot of things click for me—especially in the context of work, leadership, and the emotionally spicy world of high-stakes conversations.

The problem? The Chimp gets there first.

That emotional reaction in a tense meeting? Chimp.

The spiralling self-talk after a tough call? Also Chimp.

The email you fired off in 0.3 seconds and regretted by 0.4? Definitely Chimp.

 The Chimp Shows Up When the Pressure’s On

The Chimp thrives in fast-paced, high-stakes environments—like leadership, sales, or real estate—where things move quickly and emotions run high.

It’s the part of you that wants to win the argument, gets defensive about feedback, or panics when things just don’t go to plan.

 Left unchecked, it doesn’t just trip you up—it can quietly sabotage deals, damage relationships, and erode trust.

And while the Chimp is the automatic defence mechanism trying to protect you, it often creates more mess than it prevents.

We send messages we later regret.

We make decisions from fear, not clarity.

We escalate instead of resolve.

In leadership, the ripple effects are real. Emotions are contagious—and if your Chimp is losing it, chances are everyone else’s will start to as well.

 So, What’s the Solution?

Emotional mastery.

Not perfection. Not ‘robotic calm’. But the ability to recognise when your Chimp is in charge—and gently shift the wheel back to your Human.

From there, you can start programming better habits into your “Computer” to become your default responses over time.

It’s about creating just enough space between trigger and response to choose a better way forward.

The goal isn’t to silence your Chimp (good luck with that)—but to let your Human step in more often. That’s the part of you that pauses, thinks clearly, and acts in alignment with your values.

And over time, by choosing better responses and repeating them, you start training your Computer. It becomes your autopilot—one that actually works for you, not against you.

 Lead With the Human Brain

The best leaders aren’t unemotional—they’re emotionally fluent. They stay calm when others react. They pause when triggered. They respond with intention, not instinct.

The Chimp doesn’t go away. But if you learn to manage it, you unlock something powerful: presence, clarity, and the kind of influence that lasts.

So next time your Chimp shows up uninvited, just smile and say,

“Thanks for your input—but I’ve got this.”

Because you do.